Great Britain

Event Details

  • From: 13/10/2017
  • To: 21/10/2017
  • Starting at: 07:45 PM


  • Main Auditorium
  • North Street, Bromley
  • Kent, BR1 1SB

Great Britain

by Richard Bean
Directed by Pauline Armour

Performance dates:
Thurs 12-Sat 21 October 2017 (Not Sun 15)

Audition date:
14 May 2017 at 2pm

This is a fast and furious play; an anarchic satire about the Press, the Police and the Political establishment inspired by the ‘phone hacking’ trial of 2014. Very strong language throughout, scenes of a sexual nature – not for the faint hearted!!

It is also very, very funny and very, very technical. As there has to be film footage of the characters in the play, rehearsals will start very early to enable the filming to take place. Some filming will take place in July but will be worked out around our July production to ensure that there are no clashes. Intensive rehearsals will commence on Tuesday 29 August. I will break the play into scenes so that time is not wasted and the rehearsal schedule is not too demanding though whoever is cast as Paige Britain will have a very challenging schedule.

There are at least 50 characters in the play and plenty of opportunities for doubling/tripling roles.
My aim is to form a Great Britain Company of about 20 actors (hopefully around 10 men and 10 women) Some of the parts that were written for a man will easily become a female role. The dialogue will be fast with lots of overlapping so lines and cues will need to be very secure at an early stage.

When auditioning think BIG. This is satire and requires enormous amounts of attack and energy. It is not naturalistic. I will not audition all the characters – only the ones who can only play one role throughout the play and everyone else will be given several pieces of script from the show to demonstrate their understanding of the style and their ability to change character with panache!! I will ask for your preferences re: casting but will need artistic flexibility to ensure that the casting works as a whole. If you really only want to be considered for one particular role please make this clear.

Contains very strong language throughout, adult themes and scenes of a sexual nature.


The ‘press’ – employees of The Free Press.
Paige Britain (female) – playing age late 20’s/early 30s. Bold, brash unscrupulous, sexy, direct, will do ANYTHING for ‘the story’………… and she does!! Very large role.

Wilson (male)- playing age mid- 50s. Very loud, extremely foul-mouthed, hilariously funny, obsessed with circulation numbers. The ‘boss’. Later becomes political spokesman for the PM. Large role throughout.

The Police
Donald Doyle Davidson (male) – playing age mid 30s. Intelligent, well educated, attractive man in uniform, appears initially to abide by a moral code but turns out to be as unscrupulous as the rest. Has scenes of a sexual nature with Paige. Large role throughout.

Sir Sulliman (Sully)Kassam – (male) playing age 40s. Of Asian origin. The extremely stupid Commissioner of the Metropolitan Police Force, no sense of humour, probably has the funniest lines and scenes in the show. Large role but confined to a small number of scenes which can be rehearsed quite separately.

Wendy Klinkard (female) playing age 30s/40s. She should really have ‘dwarfism’ and sometimes use a wheel chair. Will need to consider how we depict a disability that works with the script. She is a bright, feisty, tough solicitor from Lancashire. Medium sized role throughout. Depending on how we depict the disability may be possible to double.


The Press
Paschal O’Leary (male) playing age 60s. The Irish Proprietor of The Free Press. Totally unscrupulous, out to make as much money as possible by whatever means, enjoys shooting sharks from his yacht, very, very foul mouthed and like Wilson very, very funny.

Garth (male) playing age 40s. A Free Press business executive. The money man. Hard, brash, direct.

Wallace (male) playing age 20s/30s. In charge of TV column – ‘How Big’s Your Telly? His life is consumed by the inane and the ephemeral. He fancies Paige.

Marcus (male) playing age 30s. Investigative reporter. Always in some weird disguise and seeking expenses for elaborate scams.

Dickie (male) playing age flexible. General office dogsbody. Generally fed up.

Legend – Billy Cain (male) playing age late 60s. Sports desk and old hand. Knows all the scams and fully engages with them.

Howard – (male or female – will change name if female) playing age 50s. Senior journalist, person of principle, been there forever, tries to be politically correct– but still engages in the scams and the dirty dealings.

Larry – (male or female – will change name if female) playing age 50s. Crime desk. About to retire and set up kennels in the country about which colleagues are very rude.

Jackie – (female) playing age 30s Ex Page 7 girl. Picture editor. Like all of the press is loud, in your face.

Tina – (female) playing age 20s. Celebrity desk. Bright, feisty, thrives in the environment of a buzzy press office.

Gemma – (female ) playing age 30s. Foreign desk. Tries to introduce serious news and fails.

Maddy – (female) playing age 40s. Royal Correspondent. Tries to introduce an element of decorum and fails.

Virginia White – (female) playing age 30s/40s. New York, New York editor. Glamorous, crisp, long flowing hair ala Rebekah Brookes. Becomes editor of Free Press and claims to be innocent of the phone hacking scandal.

Mac Macmanaman – (male) playing age 50s. Public Relations for the Met. Unscrupulous, totally amoral and will cover up anything at a price.

DI Cram – (male) playing age 30s. In plain clothes to start with and then promoted. Playing age 30s. Possibly the only honest character in play, but maybe gets the last laugh.

Chief Inspector DaCosta – (female) playing age 40s/early 50s. Straight talking. Not always politically correct.

Natalie -(female) playing age 30s. Crown Prosecution Lawyer. Firm. Straight. Not easily intimidated.

Jonathan Whey (male) playing age 40s. Leader of Conservative Party and later PM. Suave, sophisticated, probably ex Eton, unscrupulous. Engages in sexual relationship with Paige.

St John Flowers (male) playing age 30s. Jonanthan Wey’s Press secretary, possibly ex Eton.

Diane Bendall – (female) playing age 40s/50s. Tory MP. Member of Parliamentary Media Committee. (This scene is filmed and played back on video)

Dr. Boris Tudor (male) playing age 70s. Very posh Country Life type – huntin’ , shootin’, fishin’. His discovery really starts the phone hacking possibilities.

Clarissa Kingston Mills (female) playing age 60s. OBE for services to ‘kiss and tell’. Can make or break careers and she does. Over the top glamour.

Stella Stone (female) playing age 20s. Celebrity and would be Page 7 girl. Develops an eating disorder.

Jasper Donald (male) playing age 20s/30s. Cricketer for Lancashire. A bit dim.

Kieron Mills (male) playing age 30s/40s. Accused father of missing twins.


Jimmy the Bins (male or female – will change name if female) playing age flexible. Searches celebrity bins and sells to newspapers.

Stevie (male or female) playing age flexible. Co worker in Spy Spy which engages in many illegal IT scams and gets heavily involved in the phone hacking business at a price!!

Bodger (male) playing age flexible. Co worker in Spy Spy which engages in many illegal IT scams and gets heavily involved in the phone hacking business at a price!!

Fernando (male) playing age flexible. Waiter at ‘The Ivy’

Prison Guard (male) playing age flexible. Guard in interview room at Broadmoor.

Stella’s dad (male) playing age 50s/60s. Denies selling Stella’s eating disorder story

Stella’s mum (female) playing age 50s/60s – as above

Babs (female) playing age 20s/30s – as above

Civil Servant (male or female) playing age flexible, whistle blower who grasses up Tory Party

Claudia, Henry, Dez (male or female) playing ages flexible. Journalists who raise questions at a press conference. Loud and feisty.

Sergeant Ojo (male or female) probably 20s/30s. Taser gun operator.

TV chat show characters:
Madonna, Putin, The Pope

Voice overs and video characters:
Andrew Neil, Archbishop, Janet Street Porter, Bexy Anne, The Queen, Prince Charles, News Reporter, Bryn Wong, BBC Anchor, TV Journalists, MC at Newspaper Awards, News Anchor, Melanie Took (young model), Tory MP, American TV Host

So who’s up for this media extravaganza? Promise is will be loads of fun.
Let me know if you want a script and if you can’t make the audition on May 14 at
2-00 I would like to see you before that date so please let me know soon.