Play name
The Unfriend
By Steven Moffat
Director and Contact Details
Playing dates
4th-13th June (including charity night) There will be a matinee and evening performances on Saturday 6th June
Get-in and Strike
Get-in Sunday 17th May; Strike Sunday 14th June
Venue
Bromley Little Theatre Main House
Audition
Sunday 11th January at 3:00pm
About the play
While on holiday, Peter and Debbie befriend Elsa: a lusty, Trump-loving widow from Denver, USA. She’s less than woke but kind of wonderful. They agree to stay in touch – because no one ever really does, do they?
When Elsa invites herself to stay a few months later, they decide to look her up online. Too late, they learn the truth about Elsa Jean Krakowski. Deadly danger has just boarded a flight to London! But how do you protect all that you love from mortal peril without seeming, well, a bit impolite? Because guess who’s coming… to murder!
Steven Moffat’s play The Unfriend takes a hilarious and satirical look at middle-class England’s disastrous instinct always to appear nice. It was first performed at the Minerva Theatre, Chichester, in 2022, before transferring to London’s West End – first to the Criterion Theatre, then to Wyndham’s in 2023.
Steven Moffat is an award-winning writer whose internationally successful television shows include Doctor Who, Sherlock and Dracula – the latter two co-written with actor and writer Mark Gatiss, who made his stage directorial debut with The Unfriend.
If you are interested in auditioning, please email the director for a copy of the script.
Time
The Present
Location
The deck of a cruise ship followed by the living room of Peter and Debbie’s London home.
Style and Genre
Modern, award-winning comedy
Characters
Peter: 40 – 50. A stressy , uptight ‘Guardian’ reader. Sees himself as part of the liberal elite. (Large role)
Debbie: Peter’s wife. 40 – 50. A bit more easy-going, but prone to similar stressiness. (Large role)
Elsa Jean Krakowski: 50 -70. Loud, pushy, overly-friendly American lady. An unstoppable force of nature. (Large role)
Alex: Peter and Debbie’s son. Mid – late teens. Initially grungy, solemn and phlegmatic, but undergoes a complete character change as the play progresses. (Large role)
Rosie: Their daughter, mid to late teens. Initially sulky and fiercely indignant about almost everything, but also undergoes a complete character change. (Large role)
The Neighbour: 60’s. Well-meaning, but monumentally boring. (Medium role)
PC Junkin: A police officer. Affable, pleasant. 25–50. (Medium role)
Audition pieces
PETER / DEBBIE / ELSA From Page 7, ELSA: “What are you looking at?” to Page 11, ELSA: “And people say God doesn’t listen”
PETER / DEBBIE From Page 34, PETER: “We could say my mum’s taken a turn for the worse” to Page 38, PETER: “An unfriend button”
ALEX / PETER From Page 18, PETER: ‘What’s happening?” to Page 21, ALEX: “An unscheduled obstacle”
ROSIE / PETER / DEBBIE From Page 30, ROSIE: “Can’t you hear that?” to Page 31, ROSIE: “Everyone in this family really needs to focus on how much their selfishness is affecting me.”
DEBBIE From Page 74, DEBBIE: “I’ve had enough!” to Page 75, DEBBIE: “For once in your life, say something!”
ELSA / DEBBIE / PETER From Page 40, ELSA: “Oh my god, your house!” to Page 41, ELSA: “Isn’t technology wonderful?”
ELSA / DEBBIE / PETER From Page 48, ELSA: “Morning, lovely people!” to Page 51, ELSA: “But not you, Peter, not you”
NEIGHBOUR From Page 22, NEIGHBOUR: “I won’t be long” to Page 25, NEIGHBOUR: “…he’s a busy man”
P.C. JUNKIN From Page 79, P.C. JUNKIN: “Can I use your toilet?” to Page 80, P.C. JUNKIN: “I could go upstairs if you’re concerned about…particles”